Diary of a Childless Woman 1.

Dear Diary,

Today July 15th 2011 is my sixth Anniversary, the sky is dark and the air is stuffy, even though it is the rainy season, and the sky has poured its blessings severally. Today feels hotter and darker than usual, perhaps it is sympathising with me, so it chose to be as gloomy as i am. Today is a day i should be celebrating yet i am here writing in tears. But still i am grateful to God for the beautiful times i have had being a wife and an in-law, i am also thankful for the tough times, for without doubt they made me stronger. These tough times are definitely something i never thought i could experience and/or survive.

I have so many issues bottled up inside me, they are eating me alive. So i decided to start writing to relieve my heart of some of the burden.

Yesterday, my sister in-law was here, she came to remind me of how many years i have been married to her brother and i am yet to give him a child, and while she was at it she didn't forget to call me the usual names "parasite,witch e.t.c".

How does one forget not having a child after being married for this long? How will i forget the day i got married to my prince Charming? The love of my life, the apple of my eyes, the Sweet heart that has turned bitter. How does one forget the day he made the biggest mistake of his life? How do i forget the happiest day of my life, that has turned the most regrettable of all days? Indeed, i need not to be reminded of that day.

I have known my husband virtually all my life, he was our a neighbor in our former neighborhood, where i was born. So he was like an elder brother to me, He is 10years older than me. Ya Zaid as we call him, has always been kind towards me and my parents. He was my mother's go to helper when it comes to running errands, especially ones that needed to be done urgently, as he was a very serious chap.

I cannot remember a time when i am not In love with the tall, dark and handsome fellow, he was my Tutor, he helped me with my assignments and was always there to plead with my mother when she is punishing me, so it is only natural if i grow up loving the guy.

I was Fourteen and was about to write JSCE when we moved out of the neighborhood, and he was twenty four, he had finished his diploma and has gotten scholarship to study electrical engineering in a University in Turkey.

I missed him so much as i prepared for the almighty JSCE, especially since he was the one that encouraged me take the Science JSCE too, "you'll make a fine pharmacist" he'd say. So i had two serious exams within four months, i kept my head High and studied Well, i wrote the exams and i passed both. So i chose to go with the Science Exams through which i got admitted into Girls Science Secondary School Garko, Kano state. My Dream of becoming a Pharmacist seems to be going well. Boarding school kept me busy, i miss my family so much that i forget to miss my friend, My Ya Zaid.

Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, then years pass by, now i am a Seventeen Year old Secondary school leaver, i have written WAEC and NECO, and have got decent Grades, good enough to get me into the University. The problem was my JAMB score was not up to the required Minimum to study Pharmacy or any science course for that matter, so i had to wait another year.

That was when i met Ya Zaid again after almost four years, It was few months to my 18th Birthday, one Tuesday evening around 4:30pm, Mother had sent me to take Abdulkarim (my younger Brother) to snap some passport photographs he was to use for his Common Entrance Examination, so i took him to a photo studio called Tradesys along Zoo Road Kano, we were standing by the road side,waiting for a Tricycle that will take us home (Sharada). That was when he parked few steps away from us, he seemed so excited to see me that he couldn't stop talking, he told me that he came to our house Twice when he came on holidays but i was at boarding school then. He was shocked to have seen how big i have grown, I am a woman now, a beautiful fair young lady.

He said he came back three days Ago and had the intention of coming to Greet us on Friday, he kept talking of how much i had grown and how beautiful i was. I wanted to scream with happiness, but i couldn't, i was very shy and my brother was there, i was not use to such compliments too. He insisted on taking us home in a Honda Civic (two doors) which he jokingly told me was the car he bought with his life savings. At first i was afraid of what my father would say or do, but he persuaded me into agreeing. Saying nothing will happen, after all Abdulkarim was there.

We talked all the way home, it was nice to Catch up on lost times, as we approached our house i Saw father Sitting by the gate, where he normally Sits Between Asr and Magrib, Suddenly my heart skipped a beat, i was terrified of how his face changed the moment he saw who was emerging from the Car, i know he saw Both me and Ya Zaid, but was still looking that furious. I knew something was wrong.

It is time to for launch, i have to pause here, but i'll get back to continue as soon as i can.

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